34. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." "Half our life is spent trying to find . Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Retiring State Trooper 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! R.C. 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. But I am happy you get to retire You always did inspire! Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence. 14. 5. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! I win! and drove off. Money is only a tool. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." Thats how he contributes to the welfare of the community. Happy retirement.". The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'. Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. present this to you in recognition of 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. happy days are here at last! The claw Enforcement. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." Before you invest, investigate. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. 29. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. Something pretty thats just the surface. The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. Hi Pension. Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. 3. Police Retirement. J. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. forget that the highest appreciation is not Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . Some call it 'retirement.' May the wife have a happy time. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. 31. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. more on this quote . 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. Here it is, she said. Offer financial wellness to the people at the heart of your business. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. Dishes. Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. William A. Enjoy.". Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Just buy the haystack. Thank You for the 28 years you gave 6. 53. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? 39. 61. What are the four food groups for cops? of loyal and dedicated service to Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. Honestly, sleeping in past 5:30 a.m. sounds heavenly. What happened? 38. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. 2. Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. Here are some humorous options. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. # funny # animation # illustration # woman # drawing # happy # fun # party # stars # day # happy # fun # celebration # work . Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. They serve and protect. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. Obviously . You might catch something contagious. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! All sorted from the best by our visitors. Satchel Paige, A goal without a plan is just a wish. We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. From the movie: Judge Dredd. Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Take Without Forgetting. Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." I did not write the law. Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou, I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Unknown, I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. Charles Lamb. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job" - Ella Harris. Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. Showing search results for funny police retirement sorted by relevance. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. Before you spend, earn. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. Best wishes! Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. I got stopped last night by a police officer. Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. "I'm not retiring. Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. 56. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. Why did the coffee call 911? Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. Now, as the day dawns Abe Lemons. But sometimes you're looking for the perfect idea for someone really special, and you need something creative and unique. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. Cop: Where do you think youre going?, Driver: Donut shop, officer. Cop: At 80 miles per hour? Driver: I wanted to make sure I beat you there, so there would still be donuts to buy.. The Badge law enforcement retirement poem honestly explore the sacrifices a career police officer must make. Also, congratulations, Boss! 1. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Henry Ford, Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Funny Retirement Quotes. Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. We all hope you enjoy your retirement. A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. "It's your turn. Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. A Life Long Friendship. "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. The purr-petrator. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. On what show do police officers solve crimes committed by garden gnomes? C K. Spartan Police Theme Party Cop Party Lego Party Policeman Party Officer Party Police Officer 6th Birthday Parties Boy Birthday Birthday Ideas Police Birthday Invitation Printable by TwirlyDesigns on Etsy, $12.00 S Kim Childers Police Wife Life Police Family Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. - Unknown. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?, Driver: Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic. Officer: There is no traffic. 33. Goodbye Tension. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." Go make the most of your days and enjoy your retirement. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. So I do it three or four times a day." Retirement's the most wonderful thing. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. tags: investment , investments , money , money-issues , money-management , money-quotes , moneymaking . 32. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! 45. Law Enforcement Officer Wife Support Law Enforcement Police Family Police Life Police Force Heroic Men Nypd Blue Gun Humor Definitely! Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? Before you criticize, wait. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs. Why did the police arrest the star? See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. "Retirement is wonderful. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). Dishes the police. George Burns, "Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind." Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service professionalism has set the tone My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Police retirement is something special. Bertrand Russell, Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think youre supposed to. "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. Tips On How To Save For Retirement Without A 401k, Best Places To Retire In Arizona 2020 | Retirement Communities, Memory Care Checklist: What To Ask & Look For, What is Memory Care? The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". Unknown, "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. 2. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." What is a police officers favorite type of tag? A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Short police sayings the police must obey the law while enforcing the law earl warren nightmares come in many forms when you re a cop c. Taylor if we hand the relief items to police we are not sure it will reach the victims abdul razzaq the height of strategy is to attack your opponent s strategy sun tzu. We help. It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman Jump in! Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. All the best for an amazing retirement! As you plan retirement figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? They arent going to get rid of me that way. What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? Retirement Party. Know what you own, and know why you own it. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. Two rounds a day are plenty. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. A word of warning. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. - Gail Sheehy. comprehensive, reliable. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. quotesgram.com. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." It was mugged. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. 51. 23. I love you! Dave Ramsey. 15. I am graduating. Hello Pension. 50. #6 Dear husband, good luck on your next adventure together with me! which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. Hello to a new adventure. You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! Retired Legend . Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. They suspected it of fowl play. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. Patrick Foley. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. 49. Women go right on cooking.". Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people. Humorous quotes and messages. Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. I tell them, a paternity suit. It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. To return Click Here. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. Being a Boomer, my friends are beginning to retire or at least thinking about it. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. 13. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! R.C. A Lifelong Friendship. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. Prepare for the worst. quotesgram.com. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. Take us with you! "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. And what do they give us? The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. The money is no better in retirement but the hours are! The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. to utter words, but to live by them. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. You're a free person! It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. The water is fine! Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. These words may help. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". 59. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. Upon retirement, you will take the long walk . We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of Betty Sullivan, "Retirement is not the end of the road. 7. You grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw, To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. Dick Van Dyke, Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for. Unknown, Retirement: thats when you return home from work one day and say, Hi honey, Im home forever. Gene Perret, Retirement is not the end of the road. It is better to live rich than to die rich. Unknown, "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. "The more your money works for you, the less you have to work for money.". Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. 25. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. There was no other cop on the beat. We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. 32. as He inspires you every day. Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job.
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