(I don't think he would like that job much!). I had nothing with me when we went in, I didnt even consider the chance that I would be having a baby that night. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. I tell everyone this story and will never let my husband forget it! IM IN LABOR, PEOPLE!!! Mortified. Thanks for the laughs though! Help her stay focused and relaxed. Once labor begins, it can take between 10 to 24 hours (or more) to progress through the three stages of labor before your baby is born. Did you have a birth plan? Your rights as a patient supecedes his right to violate your peace and privacy. This happened a few times until I fit woke him up to tell him it was time to go to the hospital. I woke up at 2 am when my water broke, shook my husband awake and told him. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward, they might understand the intensity of the issue and will look for a solution. He tried to Mapquest the directions while driving down the highway and almost killed us. Sure, hopefully, the baby will change everything, but you still need to speak up to help him see the problem with this behavior and offer to support him as he works to change it. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. My brother and father arrived at around 10pm and my brother volunteers to go out and get some food for my husband. It concerned me, I spoke to him about it, and he stopped. We rarely, if ever, have an all-out shout out loud, call the cops, argument. When they told me at 3am to come in, he just asked, do you NEED me to drive you? The best way to cope with your stress and maintain a positive attitude is to stay focused on your goals and avoid situations that may trigger the urge to drink. I know you don't want to hear this, but you really need to read up on alcoholism. But still no medal. Mines more funny than bad: I went to the hospital 7 weeks early and had an emergency c-section because of HELLP syndrome. I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. The local McDonald's owner, Steve Akinboro, rewarded . Thanks for being an a@#$%&*! an hour later, he arrived 15 minutes before our daughter did. Finally he gets into town, horses and all in the hospital parking lot, smelling like a branding! Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking? I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). I would be wasted if I had 5 drinks. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. Suffer, dear. The only place open nearby is Popeyes. I folded those clothes some more. , around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! . It can vary widely. Speak to them when theyre sober and discuss setting a limit to it. All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? I hadnt seen my childs dad (dont even want to tell you what I think of him!) With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. With our first child, he made me wait until the show Charlies Angels was done before leaving for the hospital. I had been on a contraction monitor the whole time so my husband could see how much pain I was in. Or even if it wasnt, theres still a little bit of schadenfreude involved isnt there? I was laying on the bed playing And E was sitting in my desk chair. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. Of course, I couldnt, so about 9 am, I started timing my contractions and they were getting to be about 5 mins apart. We couldnt wake him up, he was barely opening his eyes when the baby crowned. The one thing that you would do at this point is go into denial mode. All parents have had to worry about this, I am sure you will be able to find someone who is willing to help you out. Andhe bowled the only perfect game of his entire life! Now, no matter how many babies you have given birth to, you still never quite remember the feeling of going into labour until it actually happens again. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. A man can metabolize 2 drinks a day. Your water better not break on my leather seats!. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sams buying Tupperware. He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. I just looked at him and siad Seriously!?! The day after our daughter was born my husband told me about this whole situation and directly quoted said I mean I had to pump for 2 minutes straight. I was asking in honor of my pregnant sister (aka Dr. B) and planning on posting some watch-outs for my very nervous brother-in-law before the big event. If we go anywhere and he has more than 2 drinks I drive home. He does not drink every night, but just a handful of times a year. to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. I had our birth center bag ready. Around 3am I felt a twinge. I had to be induced. Based on our calculations, the due date for our first child fell during my husband's biggest meeting of the year, which involved a lot of preparation, presentations, and traveling. I explained that his drinking like this gives me anxiety and I want our little baby brought into a happy, stress free world. Be there to offer encouragement for labor and delivery. He said hed save me a few slices for later. He said that it was probably nothing and I should try to get some sleep. My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. We went for a lot of walks. Get this man an epidural. . Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. Well, watched is a bit strong, but it was on the entire time! Nesting. But hey, at least the rage is not being maintained. One day shell remember to leave the meat out for tea but until then she writes beautiful and amusing posts on her blog which you can find here:http://bernmorley.blogspot.com/, i'm horrible at arguing. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. When I mentioned this is really beginning to hurt, his comment? Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. We have the ability to maintain our rage and hide it away for just the right amount of time so it can be released with maximum effect at precisely the right time. You would really benefit from an Al-Anon meeting or two. My wife was not pleased. Because she was in labor, he should have endured what, no food, no water, no bathroom, what is good enough? LOVED reading all of the stories I thought mine was rare I was sleeping when suddenly cramped stood up and my water broke. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. 26 years of marriage has taught me to make sure she is comfortable and has what she needs first and to be honest about what I need. Every year, nearly 9,000 women in the U.S. go into labor and, unable to make it to the hospital, have an unplanned or unattended birth at home or in the car on the way to the hospital. My husband actually went back to sleep when I told him I was in laborAnd then when we were AT the hospital, The nurse kept asking him questions about how to get her son into the University he worked at while they were holding my legs. He had fallen back asleep. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. I was induced w/our first, and it took a while for things to kick in. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). Im not sure where to start with my story and it has been 20 years and fresh in my mind. Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. He moved there from the recliner when I got up to walk down the hall to get myself a drink. Probably because I threatened him with bodily harm if he didnt. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. When I woke up after the operation, the nurses unceremoniously kicked me out, but because I didnt have a cellphone, I couldnt call him and I didnt have my own transport. I said we didnt have that kind of time that Id gone from 5cm-8cm in 35 minutes. He said he needed to shower and run a couple of errands and get some lunch. What will you do if you're away or home sick but the baby needs to go to the ER at night because there is something serious going on? Mum had gone in to hospital and he was working. I made his mom clean it up and get him into the bathroom where he passed out on the floor. Alcoholism is a serious addiction that can affect both the addict and those around them. I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). My husband laid down on the couch in the hospital room, rolled over and fell asleep. What is the typical personality of an alcoholic? 9. We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. this was his fourth child. My husband was awesome! Exercise. Besides, alcoholic people need reasons to blame people for their condition. Pet Behavior. When in labor, every woman becomes bitchy for the reason that she is in tremendous pain, moron! (But I still decided to stay 2 more hours at home because the nurse said to wait it out when I called them. Why do I remember the date so well? Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. The tank was on empty so we stopped at the gas station. When we had our first child, I was nesting like mad crazy the night before (I was in labor, and my house had to be clean for my mom). Sandals and flip flops are not recommended, especially if a situation arises where you may have to go into an operating room. He was waiting for my sister to get home so that my car didnt get left in the parking lot. You notice a mucusy discharge or "bloody show". I wanted him to leave so I could have peace! During pregnancy, the cervix stays closed and plugged up with mucus (aptly called the "mucus plug"). While at the hospital, my husband (then boyfriend), wasnt allowed into the theater with me, so he decided to go watch rugby at the pub. Boo freaking hoo! After 36 hours of labor and 40 minutes of pushing, my husband had to help the nurses suction our daughter out of me. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. 1. My husband ripped a huge, disgusting fart while I was in labor and then got offended when I gave him the dirtiest look I possibly could. Luke decided it was his moment to shine. The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. Misty, My husband left me, when I was in labor, to go buy a PS3 (it was Black Friday). Have you ever told him that? Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. I had to wait nearly an hour for my epidural and was 8cm when I got it. We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. Water Breaking Is a (Damn Obvious) Sign of Labor. She re-positioned the monitor and the needle was off both sides of the page. Soon enough he gets a call from his mother asking how the delivery is going. Yeah. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! Prodromal labor can be as painful and uncomfortable as 'real' labor. We tackled more laundry. When he finally woke up to go pee, I asked him for some ice chips and he told me he was tired and was just going to go back to sleep. Youve done this before. Prodromal labor usually won't. My husband was behind me holding me up while I squatted when a nurse looked at him funny and said You dont look so hot. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. He asked me to please give him a signal before I had a contraction (and they were, oh, 90 seconds apart) so he could mute the call in time. When the July 14, 2012 due date of Gainesville, Florida resident Melissa Hoh came and went, her husband's friends told him about a news story they'd read in 2006 about three women going into labor . My water had broken at 6pm while I was at work, they wouldnt allow me to drive home and the doc said it was too early to come in so I waited over an hour for my now ex husband to pick me up. If at all possible, secure a back-up. My husband stopped drinking the first week in April. Sexuality has nothing to do with a persons character or supportiveness. Ouch. I would go along with the game, keep a straight, often giddy face and say nothing. My nurse who had me pushing literally would not let me catch my BREATH because she told me to push every 10 seconds..for 2 WHOLE HOURS. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. I was about 100 years pregnant and ready to pop. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? Wow, after reading all of this, I swear my DH is a god among men! Money was scarce. Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. Silverstein had her first child in a hospital, with her husband present. As soon as they moved me into the rooms near the nursery, he went home because he was tired and me being in labor kept him up all night. First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? All they could do was pace the floor in the waiting room. For the rest of her births, she delivered at home with midwives. Into the car it went. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. You need to have a serious talk with your DH. This happened to my friend. He slept it off too long, that should be the only issue, nit that he ate. From what you've posted, your H has a serious problem. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. I would talk to him on a day he doesn't work like people said, and maybe keep a taxi service on speed dial. I sincerely wish you luck this will not be an easy road, but I hope you both find the strength you need for the sake of your baby. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this; especially at this point in your pregnancy. He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. Alcoholism is quite difficult to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. The next morning, I rationally explained to him that if I would have gone into labor (I was 38 weeks at that point) I would not have allowed him into the l and d room. After 19 hours of back labor and an emergency c-section, my ex went bowling with his parents. So, do you maintain the rage? I. She gives me her phone number . I have to say that he was horrified. That first night, my husbands parents took him to eat a fancy steak dinner while I was stuck in the hospital eating cafeteria food and playing hostess to15 or so unannounced visitors who all showed up at the same time. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . He was only slightly better with our third. These are hilarious! As he was putting the needle in my back, my husband let out a loud snore and the dr laughed. Its amazing he still had the equipment to impregnate me one more time time!!!! I cleaned the house again. Haha Im going to have to share these stories with my boyfriend so he knows not to mess up next time. You should also make sure to spend quality time with each other and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. Fine. Phil, was at this point, fading fast. By. Your scenario of DH's drinking hits so close to home for me. This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. Of course, I ended up delivering at 230 AM and when I asked for something to eat, the doctor told me Id have to wait until the cafeteria opened. He begrudgingly told me hed hurry. You know, because that is how alcoholism works. His response was, OOPS! Luckily, my own husband was a peach! And then I would unleash hell. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Braxton hicks are most often painless or at the worst, uncomfortable. My husband to me, You are loosing it. If you are married to an alcoholic, here are seven ways to deal with the problem. One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. A simple rule for when to go to the hospital for labor is the 5-1-1 rule. A 'habit' of drinking more than 5 drinks in a night, thinking that he 'deserves' to unwind however he wants, these are signs that he dependent on alcohol. I guess this is natures version of temporary amnesia because clearly, without it, wed never go back for more. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. but this isn't just within my relationships i'd say it's with friendships and working environment - REALLY envy those that have any guts to say what they feel. Its a natural tendency to try and take control of the alcoholic husband in order to make things right. I would have the conversation when he isn't drinking and is in a good mood. I mean he would have just stayed home and played video games, if I had given him the impression that Ill be okay on my own. Things start with a small incident and can lead to bigger uncontrollable incidences that will only bring shame to you and your family. Five drinks regularly to "unwind" isquite a lot. I was in labor (induced) for 48 hours while my husband was uncomfortable in his chair and feeling nauseous from a sandwich he ate. Your H has a serious drinking problem, you enable him, you are having a baby who will be left alone with this man, and all you are worried about is getting to the hospital? You might also explain that it's his baby too, he may want to remember the event. A. Amy Dickinson. My partner and I have not fought at all during our relationship, nor has he given me cause to rage. To his credit, he sprung out of bed, I rang my best friend and she came to look after Maddie and Sam. He did later apologize. I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead,here are 28 of my favorite examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. I was progressing very rapidly and I was in great pain. -Amber, My husband made me wait for him to finish watching Gladiator after my water broke. It is also a good idea to spend more time with your loved ones as this will reduce your stress levels and improve your mood. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your spouse can help both of you cope with the emotional effects of recovering from addiction. Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. Then-deputy leader Tanya Plibersek had been considering running for Labor leader in May, 2019, but pulled out because her daughter Anna was to appear in court over ex-boyfriend's abuse. He hasn't had one drink since that night because he knows I'm serious. She just had another baby and he quit drinking 4 weeks before her due date just to be safe. But he's probably young enough where that can all be avoided if he changes his patterns NOW. There is no scientific proof to show that drinking alcohol can help in inducing labor. I suppose I should give him credit for being there at least. My brother gets a Popeyes meal for my husband and tries to eat it in the hospital room with me. Another call revealed him sitting at home, eating a sandwich, and checking on his World of Warcraft real quick. If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here. Why do I remember the date so well? When I was in labor with our son my wife was AMAZING, a true hero. It doesn't matter if its wine instead of hard drinks, the point is the dependency. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. That's why it's important to do the things that make you happy, such as hobbies, movies, great food - whatever floats your boat. The elevator went up to the maternity clinic where i had to yell for help because i couldnt walk. Promote a quicker postpartum recovery. Well, setting up limits for them. So, there will be relapses in the process, but you should keep on trying. I have pictures to prove it. "With . Pack your own hospital bag. You will have to work together, as a team if you want to come out of the situation. And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!! It also happened to be the night of our annual street party. yep, i paint with a broad ass brush. Im sure there are a ton of great husbands/partners out there. a. anna242007. If your husband is an alcoholic, make every effort to avoid situations that are triggers for drinking. She drives me to my place, which looks surreal in the morning light. In the UK, between 3% and 5% of the population suffers from a drinking problem at any one time. It was his decision. About a month ago I asked him not to drink until after LO was here because I know it can get to the point that he should not be driving. We women are quite wonderful really. However, Phil and I are pretty much the masters of the silent fight. Holy fuuk. Someone needs to tell them it is not helpful to say things likeHere we go. and This looks like a big one.. On the way there, he takes a random left turn and lets me know he needs to stop at the ATM because he has no money. Were going to pop some bottles the celebrate the twins arrival. He doesn't drink that much EVERY night, but it happens, and I just KNOW with my luck, he will drink that much on the night I go into labor. However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. I told my husband in the morning that I had been in labor most of the night (he slept through it). I thought he was bad, but now I see he was just average. -One Funny Motha, While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says I think you should calm down. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. I remember thinking . I also worry about his habit when the baby comes, if he needs to unwind now it's going to get a lot worse when the baby is around as far as stress level goes. If I was to go into labor when he was drinking he wouldn't be there and that's that. Why do you women, not tell your foolish husbands long before you give birth, what you will not tolerate from him during your birth. omg, i totally broke out in huge loud laughter when i read this.in a silent room at that. I come into the living room and give her a kiss. Obviously if I am in labor I will not be driving myself but I am sure once we get closer to my EDD then he will slow it down. After being in labor all day and delivering at 9:00 at night we got almost no sleep. However, this might give you peace of mind for a moment. (More on my adorable new nephew later this week.). He passed out in my bed (I was in the chair) and proceeded to puke. Some women experience other symptoms of labor with a bloody show: Cramping: You may feel period-like cramps that come and go over the course of hours or even days. I shoot him a look and he says oh, I thought you would drive. I was 7cm dilated when they checked me in. . My husband was beyond perfect. People with drinking problems do no slow their drinking down just "because" nor do they consider how their drinking will affect the other people in their lives. It's too much. good luck! He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments?
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